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[Jun. 15th, 2007|12:19 am] |
Wow, remind me not to declare "OMG I'LL HAVE SOMETHING SPECIAL TOMORROW OR SURE!!!!!11one" because karma really is a bitch. My internet went all wonky for a few days, and then I was just bogged down with a whole bunch of other stuff... yeah. Deeply sorry about that.
But finally, EEVEE WEEK (hahaha) FINALE!! x_x Remind me to plan my reports in advance if I ever decide to narrow my options so drastically again.
Series of Six Eevee-Themed Reports, Part 6! Eeveelution of the Day...
 Eevee
PLUS
       EVERY DAMNED EEVEELUTION EVER      
Title: Destiny
Culprit Author's Name: eeveelover893
Canon: General canon
Name: Crystal
Species(es): Pokemon
Subspecies: Eevee
Fur Color: Brown, I'm guessing
Eye Color: She apparently has her mother's eyes, and her mother is an Espeon, so... blue???
Markings: None mentioned
Possessions: Some sort of rare berry that a Mightyena is hunting her and her family for. ??????
Origin: Born into a family of Eeveelutions: her parents Dawn (Espeon) and Dusck (Umbreon) and her siblings Mystic, Jolt, Flare, Snoflake, and Daisy (guess which evolution each one is). One day she goes berry-picking with her family and accidentally picks some berries that some Mightyena had his eye on, so now the Mightyena is after Crystal and, for some reason, wants to take his revenge by killing Crystal's family. Then the story generates into some sort of hostility between various tribes in the forest and some legend about the Legendary Dogs (Suicune, Raikou, Entei) sealing away the Legendary Cats (original Pokemon with the stupidest names) over some argument over a grove of berries.
OMG U GUYZ BERRIES = SERIOUS BUSINESS.
Connections To Canon Characters: None
Special Abilities: Can use Light Screen, Bullet Seed, Water Gun, and probably a whole bunch of other attacks that no Eevee can learn. This is probably due to her being some sort of chosen one from a prophecy or something predictable like that. Oh also she seems to have prophetic dreams or something.
Notes: Truthfully, I can actually see the whole "Eevee that can learn attacks of all different types" thing; it is, after all, in their DNA that they can evolve into several different types of Pokemon, so it could be possible if, say, the Eevee was experimented on to bring out its inner potential or something - similar to Red's Eevee in the Pokemon Special manga.
But being born that way? Umm, no, sorry.
That said, that whole SPESHUL EEVEE thing seems to have been forgotten in the most recent chapters, which is a shame because I was hoping that I would have more material by the time I got to this one. Siiiigh, oh well.
For a first fanfic, though, it's not that bad. A few reviewers accused the author of ripping off the Warriors series, but I've never read the books so I wouldn't know. *shrugs*
Samples:
( OMG WHAT A SPECIAL EEVEE!! )
Rating:  |
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[Jun. 9th, 2007|10:49 pm] |
Tomorrow is the "Eevee Week" GRAND FINALE!!! Hoorah!
Series of Six Eevee-Themed Reports, Part 5! Eeveelution of the Day...
Vaporeon
Title: Thread of Secrets
Culprit Author's Name: musiclover244
Canon: Anime
Name: Lucy Ketchum
Species(es): Ash's sister
Hair Color: Black
Eye Color: Brown
Markings: None mentioned
Possessions: A stuffed Vaporeon named Flipper
Pokemon Team: None
Origin: She was born when Ash was four and died five years later from some sort of rare lung disease. That's pretty much it.
Connections To Canon Characters: Ash's little sister.
Special Abilities: Nothing in particular.
Notes: This story isn't so much Sueish as it is completely stupid. So Misty finds out in some roundabout way that her sister Lily has died and Ash is all like "I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL MISTY :(" and Misty is like "NO YOU DON'T YOU RETARD >O" which devastates Ash and he throws a tantrum or something.
Then there's some backstory about a stuffed Vaporeon which belonged to Ash's little sister, but then he gave it to his sister's friend after she died, and her friend in turn gave it to her cousin, Misty, for some unexplicable reason. And that's the end of the story.
Wha...?
Samples:
( The story of Lucy. I'm expecting that no one will read this. That's okay, there's no way I'M rereading it either. )
( The stuffed Vaporeon )
Rating:  |
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[Jun. 8th, 2007|11:21 pm] |
Okay, the last two Eevee posts will be made this weekend. And after that, my SPCE icon will hopefully be getting some well-deserved rest!!
Eevee Week Series of Five or Six Eevee-Themed Reports, Part 4! Eeveelution of the Day...
Flareon
FIRST FLAREON IN THIS JOURNAL EVER OMG!
Title: Araina's Eternal Flame
Culprit Author's Name: SailorElfGirl
Canon: ASH KETCHUP LOLOLOLOLOL HOW CREATIVE!!!!
Name: Araina/"Blaze"
Species(es): BLAZE THE ULTIMATE FIRE TRAINER!!!!!!
Hair Color: "raven black"
Eye Color: "violet in shade"
Markings: I think there was one mentioned, but the purple (well, more "long-winded-boring-crap" than purple, really) kind of made my brain stop functioning on the second read.
Possessions: The "perfect survival pack" (ie. run-of-the-mill trainer stuff) and the feather of a Moltres on a necklace.
Pokemon Team: Ninetales ("Fira"), Arcanine ("Faith"), Rapidash ("Destiny's Child"), Flareon ("Firestorm"), Charizard ("Champion"). She used to have a Magmar named Volcano but it almost died so she left it with Professor Oak. All together they are, like, the POKEMON CIA OMG!!!!!!!!!!!
Origin: Once upon a time when she was five she was wearing a dress even though she hated wearing dresses because hating dresses is the cool thing to do, and she lived in a little cottage because her dad was a bastard and was never home and spent money on frivolous things, and she ate a lollipop and hugged a giant Charizard that was just randomly sitting in the middle of the road in the middle of nowhere, and she grew up to catch lots of fire Pokemon and stuff. (The actual story doesn't make much more sense than this, believe it or not.)
Connections To Canon Characters: She mentioned being friends with the Ketchums (complete with obligatory and completely witty and original "ketchup" joke). Also her mom was a friend of Professor Oak's or something.
Special Abilities: She is the ULTIMATE FIRE TRAINER.
Notes: Having the narrator go "OOPS I DERAILED TEEHEE!!" when she jumps from topic to topic does not make it any less confusing, especially when she's basically telling her entire life story.
Also.
POKEMON CIA!!!!!!!!!!
Sometimes I'm ashamed of being a fan of Fire-types. *facepalm* Why????
Samples:
( I don't want to run this into the ground or anything, but... POKEMON CIA!!!!!!!! )
Rating: 
Because POKEMON CIA!!!!!!! |
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[Jun. 5th, 2007|09:47 pm] |
My internet connection is teh lame. fhkjsdfhkjsfdh :(
Eevee Week Series of Five or Six Eevee-Themed Reports, Part 3! Eeveelution of the Day...
Jolteon
Title: Deep in my heart
Culprit Author's Name: Whitewinged demon
Canon: General canon?
Name: Sakura Hikari [BAAAAAAARF]
Species(es): ???
Hair Color: "long chocolate brown hair"
Eye Color: "soft sapphire blue"
Markings: Chances are she has some Pokemon ears or a tail or something as it's implied that everyone laughs at her when they see her. It's not clear, though.
Possessions: NOTHING.
Pokemon Team: Doesn't look like she really has any, but she saved a Jolteon from a flock of Spearow!
Origin: Viridian City? And here's an excerpt from the story: "She hated her life, each day she hated it more. Her father and Mother didn't care about her, they always said, 'I wish you were never born.' But they died in a fire, and Sakura was the only one who lived. No one wanted poor Sakura, so she lived on the streets."
Connections To Canon Characters: None mentioned.
Special Abilities: She probably has something. But nothing mentioned.
Notes: I really wasn't sure whether this was worth reporting or not; it's only 600-some words long, and hasn't been touched in two years. (I've also read one of this author's more recent fics, and while it had its flaws I quite liked it.)
But on the other hand... Sakura Hikari.
Samples:
( ...Sakura. Hikari. )
Rating:
For the name alone. |
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[Jun. 1st, 2007|07:13 pm] |
I would have had this up earlier, but our router at home wasn't working for some reason. It's temporarily fixed for now, but I'm not sure how long that'll last. ^^; Unless the router dies again, I'll try to have two reports up tomorrow. I still plan on getting five "Eevee Week (Plus A Few Days Apparently)" posts up, though!
Eevee Week, Part 2! Eeveelution of the Day...
Umbreon
Title: Moon and Sun: Escape from the Pack
Culprit Author's Name: Umbreon Mastah
Canon: Anime?
Name: Umbreon
Species(es): Pokemon
Subspecies: Umbreon
Fur Color: Black
Eye Color: Red? (They glow blue when Umbreon is using Psychic)
Markings: Yellow stripes, I'm assuming
Possessions: None mentioned
Origin: Umm, so something happened and Lucario... ran away or something, and then was for some reason frozen into a block of ice by Articuno (?). He stayed that way for twenty years until a camera flash caused the ice to melt (bwuh?) and he woke up to a completely different present (the year 2004 apparently), and he met Umbreon who was his apprentice when she was an Eevee and all their other friends were killed by some evil guy named Ciar or something.
Connections To Canon Characters: Lucario's apprentice and TWU WUV. (This is, of course, assuming that this Lucario is the same as movie!Lucario... but still.)
Special Abilities: Can speak using telepathy. Can see Aura. Can use the moves Psychic (possible by TM), Imprison (not possible), Hydro Cannon (not possible), Extremespeed (not possible), Rock Slide (not possible), Reflect (not possible), Thunder (not possible), Thunder Punch (not possible), assumedly Aura Sphere (hahahaha no) and maybe also Shadow Ball (possible by TM).
Notes: I'm not quite sure how this fic is supposed to be taken, canonically. It says that it's "semi-based" on the eighth movie, and indeed, there are some parallels in the fic such as Mew, the Tree of Beginning, Time Flowers, etc. Otherwise, though, it seems completely original. And I'm not sure if that should be considered good or bad.
Another thing that bothers me is the humans - not that they're there, but... okay, it's that they're there. Other than the fact that it was their camera that woke Lucario from his slumber, there's really no reason for them to be involved in the fic at all, and they pretty much fade into the background after the first chapter. And there's also Ciar, who is supposed to come across as some super-evil bad guy, but is given more humorous flaws as the fic goes on, and while there's nothing wrong with that, really, rarely can you have a character who is SUPREME EVIL while he also has a habit of playing with dolls.
Also, apparently all the Pokemon can be understood by the humans, and aside from a tossaway mention of Umbreon using telepathy, it's never explained why.
Honestly, this isn't really a bad fic, especially when it's apparently the author's very first. The writing is excellent, save for some parts that are just really, really rushed, and the story is original, but stifled a bit by the author trying to insert some occasional subtle humor, to such an extent that it is no longer occasional nor subtle... Uh. The point is that it wouldn't take that much reworking to turn this into a superb story. Umbreon, however, is a tiny bit overpowered, so I'll be giving this a Basic ranking.
Samples:
( Might be nice to know what "Night Whip" is? )
Rating: |
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[May. 28th, 2007|10:57 pm] |
100th post! Hurrah!!
Eevee Week, part 1! Eeveelution of the day...
Espeon
Title: The Link
Culprit Author's Name: Dark-Dragon-Chick
Canon: Anime-ish
Name: Adrienne "Ari" Larose
Species(es): Something that seems to resemble a human
Hair Color: "long raven hair"
Eye Color: "dark purple eyes"
Markings: "a slim yet strong build, and a perfect figure," "silvery scars that lined her delicate wrists"
Possessions: A black Pokedex, a necklace with a Pokeball on it, several pairs of the same outfit except with different-colored tops, a black backpack filled with travel stuff, a Fire Stone and a Water Stone, and an ANGSTY RECURRING NIGHTMARE OMFG.
Pokemon Team: Espeon ("Jasmine," or "Jazz" for short), Noctowl ("Nightwing"), Rattata ("Magenta"), Mareep ("Static"),
Origin: New Bark Town. Ari worked for Professor Elm until she was sixteen, when she managed to start on her journey without letting her disapproving mother know. Stuff happens and apparently she's supposed to "connect the Pokémon and humans" or something.
Connections To Canon Characters: Assisstant to Professor Elm. Gary Oak's TWU WUV. Also there's probably something going on between Ari's Espeon and Gary's Umbreon. 9_9
Special Abilities: She can understand Pokemon and can see in the dark. These powers somehow have the side-effect of haunting her with recurring nightmares in which every person and Pokemon she has ever met is killed and there are rivers of blood or something.
Notes: I don't actually have much to say about this. It took me forever to get through for some reason, but it's really just your everyday "chosen one who can understand Pokemon's hearts" crap.
Also the Sue's "Shiny" Noctowl is silver and black. ...Uh. I think that if there were one Shiny-form that was most well known (aside from the Red Gyarados), it would be Noctowl. Simply because Ash had one. And it's not silver and black. Duh?
Two good things about this fic: the writing isn't half-bad, and the Suethor realized how horrible the story was and discontinued it.
Samples:
( The Sue's gym battle with Falconer - who is not, contrary to popular belief, Falkner. )
Rating: |
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[May. 27th, 2007|11:30 pm] |
You know how sometimes I just disappear without a word and don't update for the LONGEST time? Yeah, I hate it when I do that too. But I don't want to post a note or anything that DOESN'T include a report, because if the post count isn't equal to the Sue count it messes me up and it would make it annoying to double-check if I haven't counted wrong.
So, I've made an "Are you dead, ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) pokemon_sues?" in my profile; if I ever go more than a day or two without posting, I plan to make updates there informing everyone of what's up. So check there, and if neither I nor my internet have died a horrible and tragic death there'll be an explanation.
Now, on to the Stu!
Title: Fortress Frontier
Culprit Author's Name: DeathPokemonSkullferno
Canon: Anime
Name: TJ Storm aka "Tege" aka Fortress Warrior TJ
Species(es): FRONTIER BRAIN OMG
Hair Color: Not mentioned
Eye Color: Not mentioned
Markings: None mentioned
Possessions: A bunch of friends and relatives that literally appear out of nowhere, a Pokenav with "Eye of the Tiger" set as its ringtone, a silver suit of armor, a "massive sword which held his Pokéballs"
Pokemon Team: Charizard ("Flare"), Pikachu ("General Pik"), Kyogre ("Ky"), Groudon ("Krusher"), Rayquaza, Blaziken ("Skar")
Origin: Apparently Ash and his friends met TJ (and his friends) on Four Island (or is TJ from Four Island and they just met him somewhere else...? It's not too clear). TJ is leik omg such a strong trainer and he beat the Battle Frontier AND now he's a Frontier Brain and going out with Lucy. He's also a self-insert and a pervert.
Connections To Canon Characters: Ash's friend/rival, Lucy's boyfriend/fiance/whatever.
Special Abilities: The ability to lobotomize me with text.
Notes: Putting aside the utter Stuishness of it, how immensely cheap is that Pokemon team? I personally don't like using Legendaries in the games because it feels like I'm cheating or something. I dunno, my gaming tactics are completely irrelevant anyway, whatever.
There were so many things about this fic that had me torn between laughing and crying at the utter stupidity, from the random unnecessary sex elements (HALF of chapter three was just Ash and TJ taking about how they wanted to do their girlfriends) to the Final Fantasy music. It's just... so... bad. I wanted to quote so many parts of it but I had to narrow it down to just the one. (Besides, aside from a couple of exceptions [both of which involve Mewtwo, oddly enough], I prefer to keep this journal relatively family-safe.)
At least Ash pwns the kid.
Samples:
( I never want to see or hear the word "nutsicle" ever again. )
Rating:  |
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[May. 26th, 2007|10:23 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | baby | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
Sorry about the wait, but at least it wasn't... what... two months this time? XD I will definitely have a report up tomorrow, too.
Now, I have a request. I'm coming up on my 100th post, and I was thinking that I'd spend a week spotlighting fics that feature various members of the Eevee family. So if anyone has come across any Suefic of the sort, I'd appreciate it if you could share a link! (Of course, I'll be keeping an eye out myself, too. ;D) I'm hoping to have representatives of each Eeveelution, but I'm not sure that's likely to happen. We'll have to see, though~!
Now, on to today's (despairingly short) report!
Title: The Adventures Of Rose And Buttons!
Culprit Author's Name: MooMoo
Canon: Anime
Name: Rose Ketchum
Species(es): Ash's sister (yes, it's a species now)
Hair Color: Not mentioned
Eye Color: Not mentioned
Markings: None mentioned
Possessions: Trainer stuff
Pokemon Team: Pikachu ("Buttons")
Origin: Pallet Town. Um... I'm not sure of anything beyond that.
Connections To Canon Characters: Ash's younger sister who is about to start her Pokemon journey omg!
Special Abilities: I don't know?
Notes: I honestly don't have any idea what's going on in this fic. I've seen MUCH worse (remember Shomo Attack?), but... still.
Other than the "whaaaat?" factor, it's just your run-of-the-mill "Ash has a sister!" fic.
Samples:
( Explanation of how Ash and his friends got a baby Pikachu. If you find the explanation of how Ash and his friends got a baby Pikachu, you win a PS3!!! )
Rating: |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 21st, 2007|09:04 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | stage 1 | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Heroes" season finale | ] |
Oh how I've missed doing these. I just hope the Pokemon section of the Pit hasn't gotten too unruly with me gone. ;D
So I was going to spork this fic today, and I even wrote half of the report before I realized that I was basically praising the story the entire time. OOPS. (Take a look at it if you like; it's nothing special, but I did enjoy reading it despite a questionable beginning and the main character's name means "butt".)
Title: The Land of Legends
Culprit Author's Name: Latias 24
Canon: Game (RSE)
Name: April
Species(es): Human
Hair Color: Not mentioned
Eye Color: Not mentioned
Markings: None mentioned
Possessions: Nothing, not even trainer stuff!
Pokemon Team: Latias ("Firemist"), Pichu ("Lucy"), Eevee ("Blacky"), Dratini ("Minty")
Origin: Littleroot Town. April and May were wandering around when they saw a half-shiny (????) Latias being chased by a Beedrill and then knocked out when it smashed into a tree (*insert George of the Jungle joke here*). April catches it, and after May suddenly vanishes (really!), April is chased by their insane local Professor not!Birch who wants to have Latias as his own to do experiments on and stuff. After beating him with some super-powerful baby Pokemon, April goes off on her own.
Latias has some sort of angsty backstory that makes absolutely no sense.
Connections To Canon Characters: Game!May's (???) little sister. (Can it be assumed, then, that she is also Norman's daughter...?)
Special Abilities: She can understand what Latias says, but that may not be so much April's ability as it is Latias'.
Notes: I haven't actually done any research into this, but if I were to guess, I would say that the most common Pokemon (evolution lines) for Mary Sues are, in no particular order, Eevee, Pikachu, Charmander, Dratini, and some miscellaneous Legendary/uber/original Pokemon.
Well. All five of them make an appearance in this fic. All within the first chapter, even! (I was going to say that the Charmander line was not represented, but nope, it certainly did have a small cameo. 9_9)
Also. HALF-Shiny?? Buh.
Otherwise, there's really nothing special about this Sue.
Samples:
( WATCH OUT FOR THAT- )
Rating: |
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[Mar. 30th, 2007|12:40 pm] |
I think I nearly died laughing at today's fic. And you think I'm kidding, but I'm totally serious. I was taking a break from reading it to get something to eat, when I suddenly cracked up while going down the stairs and I almost lost my balance and fell.
That wouldn't have been cool at all. :|
Anyway, today we have a repeat offender; TeamRocketDiva was the author of Hayley's Poke'mon Adventure, and this story is almost as bad. At least it has no furries yet.
Title: A new life
Culprit Author's Name: TeamRocketDiva
Canon: Anime...? With elements from Yu-Gi-Oh, and possibly a little Digimon.
Name: James Morgan, Kiki Morgan, Jessie Parker, Ken Parker, Linda Brushwood
Species(es): dkfhjslkdfhjlkgfh
Hair Color:
James: Canon?
Kiki: "Pale blond hair in a small plait"
Jessie: Canon?
Ken: "black hair in James’ style"
Linda: "shoulder-length green hair with blond bangs and three blonde streaks"
Eye Color:
James: Canon?
Kiki: Blue
Jessie: Canon?
Ken: "serious deep blue eyes"
Linda: "deep purple eyes"
Markings: James and Kiki both have rose symbols just below their left shoulders - well, Kiki does, at least. It's not specified where James' rose symbol is. Jessie has a cat-shaped birthmark on her right wrist, and Ken has a dragon-shaped birthmark on his neck.
Possessions: James has a Pokedex and a MILLENNIUM RING. Jessie has a blue ribbon with a bell on it around her neck (James gave it to her *gag*).
Pokemon Team:
James: Growlithe ("Growly"), Weezing, Pikachu ("Tenko"), Bulbasaur ("Sundancer"), Eevee ("Sun"), Sneasel ("Slash"), Totodile ("Toto")
Kiki: Aipom ("Energy"), Abra, Wooper, Magby, Mareep, Oddish
Jessie: Seviper, Wobbuffet, Dustox, Vulpix, Eevee, Ponyta
Ken: Larvitar, Natu, Charmander
Linda: Skitty ("Twinkle"), Zangoose, Ditto, Sentret, Lickitung, Stantler
Origin: Where to start? James apparently has EGYPTIAN ANCESTORS now - specifically, his ancestor is the Thief King from Yu-Gi-Oh, which is why he has the Millennium Ring. After paying off their debts to Giovanni, the three got fired from Team Rocket, so they decide to all go their separate ways and live their lives HONESTLY (going their separate ways for the sole reason that it would be OMG DRAMATIC). But first Jessie and James profess their undying love for each other. 9_9
Shortly after splitting up, Jessie and James both conveniently come across their respective long-lost-younger-sibling-of-the-opposite-gender-who-was-randomly-placed-in-an-orphanage-at-the-age-of-three. So... yes.
Connections To Canon Characters: Jessie and James are SUPPOSED to be canon characters. Kiki is James' little sister, and Ken is Jessie's little brother. Ken may or may not be Ken from Digimon. Linda is James and Kiki's impromptu traveling partner.
Special Abilities: James can use his Millennium Ring to create illusions, locate people, and summon the SHADOW REALM!!!!! He probably has other powers too.
Notes: This was in the Suethor's profile:
James will occasionaly be a Sayjin and always in my fics will be brave, smart etc and Jessie will be sweet and kind and they wil always be/get together no matter what.
...Wait. "Sayjin"? As in Saiyajin?? Did I read that right? Forget the "brave and smart, sweet and kind" part, just what the hell?????? Please tell me this is a troll parodying the average Rocketshipper - no offense to the Rocketshippers that I know are reading this.
Someone needs to make a Saiyajin!James "OVER NINE THOUSAND!" macro.
Samples:
( Suddenly... Team Rocket decides to be GOOD guys! )
Rating: |
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[Mar. 27th, 2007|10:01 pm] |
Wow, has it really been a month since I last updated?! Things have been so hectic that I hadn't even noticed! o.o I am so sorry about that, but I should be able to get back into the swing of things now. :D
Title: A New Adventure
Culprit Author's Name: tgobg
Canon: Anime and HARRY POTTER
Name: Harry Potter
Species(es): WIZARD!!
Hair Color: Black?
Eye Color: Green?
Markings: A lightning-bolt scar. NO WAI.
Possessions: IMMENSE POWER. Maybe glasses?
Pokemon Team: Dragonite ("Dra"), Sceptile ("Scep"), Haunter, among others.
Origin: Thirty-year-old Harry Potter, now the most powerful wizard ever by FAR, fell into the veil and landed in the Pokemon world reverted back to his fifteen-year-old self, except hawter and still posessing all his powers. This is obviously so that there is no icky pedophilia in the story. After wandering around a bit, he came across a girl and her Pokemon battling a Dratini, and then when the girl and her Pokemon were knocked out he came in and caught the Dratini all for himself. 9_9 Then he read the girl's mind and learned everything he needed to know about the Pokemon world.
A year later, Harry has become the STRONGEST TRAINER EVER. Bored of battling now that he's the best, he decides to form a harem for himself. I am only half kidding about that last part.
Connections To Canon Characters: May is traveling with him, and is a member of Harry's still-developing harem.
Special Abilities: He can cast wordless, wandless magic. He uses his powers to manipulate his Pokemon to raise them to maximum potential (and then some - they are also able to learn pretty much any attack). He has a psychic link with his Pokemon and can understand what they say. He is the STRONGEST POKEMON TRAINER EVAR.
Notes: The veil, huh? So, tell me - does this mean that Sirius is a Pokemon Trainer now, too?!! O_____________O
Okay, so as I mentioned above, May is traveling with Harry, but Harry's other traveling partner is Liz, who is supposed to be this really strong trainer who placed in the top 20 at the Silver Conference (I think). How they determined the top twenty, I have no idea. Both Liz and May have major crushes on Harry. Harry just wants to see the two girls get it on. (Who know Harry Potter was fond of femmeslash!)
What was I saying...? Oh yes, Liz. Her Scyther managed to evolve to Scizor in the middle of a battle without Steel Coat. I know that evolving in battle is common in anime canon, but...?
Lastly... this line cracked me up:
Lance felt a shiver run down his eyes staring into his eyes.
Might want to get your eyes checked, Lance!
Samples:
( Harry meets Liz. Yay? )
Rating:
Would be higher if not for the fact that the whole uber-powerful magic power thing is pretty much canon. |
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[Feb. 25th, 2007|06:22 pm] |
First off, goodfic rec: To Extend Our Reach. An AU fic that considers what would have become of Team Rocket had they never met Ash. The writing is flawed in some parts, but the story itself is clever, and the author successfully manages to keep the reader interested, and each chapter ends with a new development (though I wouldn't necessarily call them cliffhangers), leaving the reader wanting more. And while Team Rocket are quite more successful in this story than they are in the show, they still retain that good old Team Rocket corniness. XD
Back to business... I have a story. Before I made this journal, when it was just an idea I was toying with, a friend asked me how I'd identify Mary Sues in the Pokemon fandom, since you're essentially Sueing yourself when you play the games. I answered that, of course, I'd take that into consideration when going through fics, though I'd probably stay away from those boring ones that are pretty much just the games rewritten.
Today's Sue is one of those ones who has had the "game treatment," for lack of better words, but I think my lampooning of it is justified.
Title: Deadly Ambitions
Culprit Author's Name: NightmareTears
Canon: Ash, Brock, and Misty thrown into the third-gen games, it seems.
Name: Wolfyx
Species(es): Human?
Hair Color: Not mentioned
Eye Color: Not mentioned
Markings: None mentioned
Possessions: Several championships and a huge fan following.
Pokemon Team: A Torchic (which has probably evolved), Milotic ("Opaque"), others not mentioned
Origin: Littleroot Town. She recieved a Torchic from good old Birch and shortly after pwnd all of Hoenn. Now she is liek omg SOOOOO FAMOUS and stuff.
Connections To Canon Characters: I'm willing to bet anything that she's Norman's daughter.
Special Abilities: Well... hmm. I don't completely understand it, so here's an excerpt from the story:
“She’s only been famous for ten days, at most. It only took her six to get this far.”
“Six days?!” Exclaimed Ash. “Is that even possible?”
“Wolfyx can do anything. I mean, it took her two days to beat the Elite Four.”
So she managed to become the Pokemon League Champion either ten, six, or two days after leaving on her journey. I think?
Also, she essentially cut off all access to Oldale and Littleroot (it seems that not even Professor Birch can get home).
Notes: GAME TIME ≠ REAL TIME. Just because you beat the game in less than a week doesn't mean that having a character travel all around the region and become the strongest EVAR in that same time is at all realistic.
Now that that's taken care of... just wtf? There's some major wish-fulfillment going on here. She beat the Elite Four in two days, is the Beauty Contest champion, and she probably also fulfilled some prophecy and caused Teams Magma and Aqua to disband. And she hasn't even appeared in the fic yet! She probably doesn't have any supernatural powers, though, which I suppose is a plus. Still a Stage 2, though.
This author also kind of beats around the bush when it comes to describing the characters. When Ash and his friends were being described, I had the weirdest mental image of them with no faces kind of like in the Pikachu mini-movies. Maybe it's just me. Oh, but the descriptions were all clumped into one paragraph per character, which is always annoying.
Oh. Also. At the end of the fifth chapter Ash released all his Pokemon (except Pikachu) into the wild. Just out of nowhere! I know that he has an impressive record of leaving his Pokemon somewhere/dumping them all at Oak's, but he's never abandoned them in the wild for absolutely no reason. Not only that, but his Pokemon love him too much to leave without a second glance. Just... what?
Samples:
( BIRCH IS NOW A BUM :( )
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[Feb. 22nd, 2007|10:43 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | stage 1 | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
| [ | music |
| | DEPARTURES - Aozu + Cap to Bin | ] |
I've been watching the good old Indigo and Orange Island episodes for the past week or so. Good times. :D
Title: Pokemon Fayarah Chronicles
Culprit Author's Name: Satanae -Sasuke's Girl-
Canon: Anime
Name: Fayarah "Fay" Love
Species(es): Human
Hair Color: Black
Eye Color: Blue
Markings: None, though her Delcatty has a hibiscus flower on her head?
Possessions: None mentioned
Pokemon Team: Delcatty ("Hysteria"), Umbreon ("Socrates"), Typhlosion ("Cherry"), "Militoc" ("Yuni"), Misdreavus ("Eris"), Sneasel ("Rinslet")
Origin: Some brand new Pokemon made Fay's sister disappear and also made the entire world change or something weird like that. Fay and Drew are trying to find Fay's sister but Fay quickly gets distracted by some celebrity who lurves her or something (I kind of zoned out at this point). Some sister she is!
Connections To Canon Characters: Drew's BFF OMG!!
Special Abilities: Has apparently seen every Pokemon ever or something (and battled Suicune)? She also has an amazing singing voice and is famous for some reason that has not been elaborated on.
Notes: Does someone want to count the exclamation points in chapters three and four for me?
Samples:
( Death by punctuation. )
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[Feb. 14th, 2007|08:58 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | stage 1 | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hungry | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Gotta Catch 'em All - Giorgio Vanni | ] |
Happy Valentine's Day, or, if you prefer, happy Singles Awareness Day! As a treat, here's one of those matchmaker Sues! (Actually, it's not as "great" as I'm making it out to be, but I'd like to delude myself into thinking that after more than a week of no posts I have something FABULOUS to post.)
Title: She can never belong
Culprit Author's Name: Fallenangel323232
Canon: Anime
Name: Aara / Rose
Species(es): "1 half human, ¼ clone, and ¼ pokemon"
Hair Color: Brown
Eye Color: Blue, but turn green when she uses her powers or something
Markings: She grows a tail when she uses her powers? I don't know.
Possessions: None mentioned
Pokemon Team: Pikachu ("Ran"), Charmander, Umbreon, "Ivysour," "Togechick," and a baby MEW. :| "Ivysour" has "dark green spots [that] make him look like a Rebel and that’s why I caught him cause….. I LIKE REBELS!!!"
Origin: Some cave of some sort (Cerulean Cave?). She's "1/4 clone because a HUMAN woman gave birth to her but somehow Her Real FATHER AND REAL MOTHER WERE A CLONE AND A REAL POKEMON!!!" (If that makes any sense to anyone, would you mind explaining it to me?) She escaped the cave that she was trapped in and then passed out. Drew found her and then they became friends and the Sue caught some Pokemon. Yay.
Connections To Canon Characters: Drew's BEST FRIEND, but I am quite certain that this Sue wouldn't last two minutes near the REAL Drew without getting bitchslapped from here to next Sunday. Is likely going to play matchmaker for Drew and May (and for her Pikachu and Ash's Pikachu, but I think that goes without saying if a Sue has a female Pikachu).
Special Abilities: Can speak to Pokemon, but she can't hold Pokemon without gloves or something (and yet they can still do stuff like climb up her arms). Has some other powers, probably psychic. Can apparently tell what Pokemon a person is suited to by looking in their eyes? She can also turn Brock into a raging murder machine or something.
Notes: This Sue is PROBABLY the daughter of Mewtwo, and possibly of Mew. That does not explain the human half of her, but I'm trying not to think about it TOO hard.
...I had some other things to say, but I think my brain has kind of ceased functioning after reading this fic.
On the bright side, I get a chance to show off my shiny new icon!! :D
Samples:
( I honestly don't know how to describe this. )
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[Feb. 6th, 2007|11:33 pm] |
I'm feeling a bit silly tonight. Apologies in advance.
Title: Sapphire's Adventure
Culprit Author's Name: Wishmaker0821
Canon: Anime, with maybe a little bit of game canon thrown in
Name: Sapphire, Steve
Species(es): Human
Hair Color: Purple (Sapphire), dark blue (Steve)
Eye Color: "deep violet" (Sapphire), "ocean blue" (Steve)
Markings: None mentioned
Possessions: Pokeballs, Pokedex, map. She also has this random biker rival who she hates with EVERY fiber of her being because in second grade he threw paint on a drawing that Sapphire drew.
Pokemon Team:
Sapphire: Dratini ("Saphira"), Swablu
Steve: Charmander
Origin: Pallet Town. Sapphire was late to the laboratory on the day she was to get her starter Pokemon and they were all gone (SURPRISE SURPRISE), but Professor Gary had a SPECIAL one set aside (SURPRISE SURPRISE) which he gave to her... and it was a Dratini. Wow. She wants to be both a POKEMON MASTER and a TOP COORDINATOR. Steve was one of the trainers who WAS on time, and he ALSO wants to be a POKEMON MASTER.
Connections To Canon Characters: Well... Sapphire gave Gary his first kiss... at the age of 32. But that's about it.
Special Abilities: Sapphire can feel any physical pain that her Dratini feels. This is because she gave Dratini, her starter Pokemon, a NAME OMG. (I don't get it either.) Her Dratini also knows Water Gun, which is not a move that Dratini learns. It also apparently just learned Thunder and Blizzard naturally, and her Swablu ALSO knows Thunder. Steve is "kind of" phychic.
Notes: This is the summary to this fic:
It's her adventure! Like i said. She meets Steve, falls in love with him, hates her rival... you know the USUALS!
Yeah, so, when I read "Steve" I thought she was talking about Steven Stone, and I wanted to cry out in aguish. I soon realized that it wasn't Steven, but from then on I kept imagining Steve from Blue's Clues. A few days ago my friends and I were discussing the ridiculous names that no two-year-old would be able to pronounce that they gave the tertiary colors in that one episode, so I've kind of had Blue's Clues on the brain. It's not completely random, seriously.
So, this fic? Um... yeah, it's kind of weird, and I don't really understand most of it. The writing isn't as bad as it could be, but it's not good or anything.
There were some lines that were absolutely (and unintentionally) hilarious, though.
BOYS? Models? That’s hilarious.
Sapphire held on to her heart part (I do NOT want to say chest... oh I just did...).
“It’s Team Galactic!” they said.
“That is so horny!” Sapphire said.
They were wearing JET PACKS and they flew away.
And that's just a few of them.
Samples:
( Yawn. Boring. )
( This is so stupid that I have to include it as well. )
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[Feb. 3rd, 2007|11:41 pm] |
I had two options for what to spork, but I didn't feel like reading something practically undecipherable, so I chose THIS one. "scarlet beginnings" will be next, but I am dreading it.
Title: One of a kind
Culprit Author's Name: babaga he who laughs at anime
Canon: Anime...?
Name: Shelly
Species(es): Human/Pokemon (Vulpix→Ninetales)
Hair Color: "natural bright crimson hair color" / "as yellow as the tail"
Eye Color: Not mentioned
Markings: At first she has "a crimson fluffy tail that she hides by curling it around her," but then she evolves and then a "yellow tail was now her tail, along with several others." Upon evolving she also gains Ninetale ears on the top of her head, and she got "taller, curvier, and the most noticeable of all, breasts, about 30 C cup." *rolls eyes*
Possessions: A Pokedex, Pokegear, and Pokeballs. Woohoo.
Pokemon Team: Charmander ("Salamander"), Zangoose ("Rikki"). She also has a Geodude, Zubat, and some original Pokemon that hasn't been given a name yet.
Origin: Cerulean City. Her mom used to work for Team Rocket, but then she quit and got raped by a Ninetales. Thus Shelly was born as a human-Vulpix hybrid, until she randomly found a Fire Stone while in the middle of a conversation and evolved into a Ninetales hybrid. So she decides to see Professor Oak and see what his thoughts are about her bring half-Pokemon because for some reason she never noticed before evolving.
Connections To Canon Characters: Misty's best friend or something.
Special Abilities: She can generate a lot of heat when she's surprised or something. There's also something about her stamina, and I swear there was something (I'm using "something" too much) else, but I can't find it in the story now. Ah, but her Charmander randomly knew how to write in English, and then it learned how to talk, though granted it DID have to work hard for a few hours to learn how.
Notes: ...?
This fanfic really has no foundation at all.
Samples:
( Shelly's mom explains that a Nintales raped her. )
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[Jan. 28th, 2007|05:29 pm] |
As I've already mentioned, my internet connection is down more often than it's up nowadays. This SHOULD be only temporary, but for the time being I am unable to watch ff.net like a hawk, and I'm having troubles finding something spork-worthy on the rare occasion that my internet is working. SO! I have a request. If anyone sees something in the Pokemon section of the Pit (or anywhere, really) that looks promising, would you mind commenting with a link? I'm not asking you to be refreshing the Pit all day long, nor am I asking you to read through all the crap; just if you see something that looks like it might be a Sue, leave a link so that I have an easier time finding it. :) (I prefer reporting more recent fanfics, but it doesn't really matter.) You are, of course, more than welcome to link me to badfic anytime, but it would be particularly helpful right now. Thanks!
That said, on with this week's today's report.
Title: In the Regions Four
Culprit Author's Name: Raeyne [Hmm. This is the Sue's name with the first two letters cut off!]
Canon: Anime
Name: Soraeyne "Sara" Ketchum [At least, I am assuming that her last name is Ketchum, but I'm not sure.]
Species(es): Human
Hair Color: Not mentioned
Eye Color: "bright, purty, emerald-sapphire eyes. My right one’s emerald and my left one’s sapphire."
Markings: The different-colored eyes?
Possessions: Run-of-the-mill trainer stuff.
Pokemon Team: Moltres ("Flaera"), Pidgey ("Gust"), Caterpie→Metapod ("Venom")
Origin: "Palette" Town. She was Professor Oak's assistant, and when they were moving a bunch of Pokemon eggs inside the lab, she found a golden egg and Oak let her have it because it was obviously the best idea to give it to some random kid. It hatched into a Moltres - the LAST Moltres in existence, even!
Connections To Canon Characters: Ash's younger sister. Apparently their father is Steven Stone (*brain breaks*).
Special Abilities: None in particular, though she somehow seemed to know that her Pokemon had the same dream as her at some point.
Notes: Apparently Hoenn and Shinou are "hundreds of miles" east of Kanto now!! Fancy that. (Hoenn is actually located to the southwest of Kanto and Johto, if I recall correctly. I'm not sure of Shinou's location relative to the mainland, but it's somewhere in the north. Really, could the author have been any more WRONG? XD)
Otherwise, this fanfic really isn't THAT bad. The writing is pretty good, and other than the Moltres business and her name and eyes and such, Soraeyne isn't that special. Oh... except she did see Ho-oh when she started her journey like Ash did. Hmm.
Samples:
( Some kid hatches a Moltres, and what's the best thing to do? SEND THEM ON A JOURNEY, DUH. )
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 23rd, 2007|11:24 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | viral | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Glacial Love - Siam Shade | ] |
My internet connection is going wonky again. Sorry! *grumbles* But yesterday I took advantage of the short time that it WAS working and looked for a fic to report whenever I next got the opportunity (which is now, obviously).
By complete chance, I found this gem.
Title: Hayley's Pok'emon Journey
Culprit Author's Name: TeamRocketDiva
Canon: Anime
Name: Hayley Ann Wilson/"Mrs. Mind Reader"/"Mind Dou"/"ookami-chan"
Species(es): Werewolf thing
Hair Color: Brown; in wolf form her fur is "gold with black streaks and there was a black rose mark on her head"
Eye Color: Grey
Markings: A wolf-shaped birthmark
Possessions: "a silver locket the shape of a cresant moon and it changed just like the moon, each night"
Pokemon Team: Eevee ("Shadow")
Origin: "Vurdenturf in the Hoenn region." I was going to copy-and-paste her entire background straight from the story, but since it went off on random tangents about Hayley and James' hair colors and their parts in the school play, it was kind of long. Let's see... Hayley and James were taught how to understand Pokemon language by a Pokemon magician named Merlin (was he one of those one-time characters in canon, or did this author make him up? I only ask because "Merlin" sounds like the kind of unoriginal name 4Kids would have given a Pokemon magician, but it is also the kind of unoriginal name a Suethor would give a lame OC). Merlin gave Hayley a locket that turns her into a wolf.
Connections To Canon Characters: James' childhood friend and TWU WUV.
Special Abilities: Hayley can turn into a wolf at will, even though wolves don't exist in the Pokemon world, but hell, wolves are sooo kewlzies so who cares!! She can also read minds, which is "a very rare gift." Because of the wolf thing she's also athletic and agile and crap. She understands Pokemon language and has all the Pokemon cries memorized (which really isn't difficult in anime canon, considering that most Pokemon say their freaking names).
Notes: :Lkfh;ladjfhjadofhjdihdsh I want to think this is a troll. I really really do. If it weren't for the drab, normal hair/eye colors, I'd be hard-pressed to admit that this is for real. But... yeah. I think it's real.
The random unrelated bits thrown in here and there are hilarious. And the fangirl Japanese. Just wtf. Oh, and James is psychic now. WHAT.
Also, this fic is apparently a prequel to a completely different fic written by someone else entirely. I wasn't able to look at that one before my internet connection cut off yesterday, though.
Samples:
( Oh the tangents. )
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[Jan. 18th, 2007|09:53 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | stage 1 | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | sore | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Free as a Bird - Minagawa Junko | ] |
I ventured onto Quizilla for today's fic. I am SO glad that fanfiction.net doesn't allow embedded video or pictures or any of that stuff.
Title: The Rookie Coordinator ~Pokemon Story~
Culprit Author's Name: NamidaKuro
Canon: Anime
Name: Namida Kuro [Such an emo name.]
Species(es): Human
Hair Color: Not mentioned, but there's a picture here
Eye Color: Same as above (green)
Markings: None mentioned
Possessions: A picture of her brother (who is apparently Kino from Kino no Tabi)
Pokemon Team: Espeon, Umbreon [And I was JUST commenting on how long it's been since an Eevee(lution) has shown up!], Flygon, Plusle, Minun. She also has a Mawile, Swampert, Absol, Tropius, Blastoise, Rapidash, Scizor, Quilava, Pichu, Houndoom, Swellow, "Blazikan," and "Draonair."
Origin: "Laroose" City. Her brother was killed by Harley when Kuro and Harley were having a Pokemon battle in Slateport/"Viridion" City. She becomes a coordinator and stuff, then she goes back to La Rou- I can't even spell it wrong on purpose! "Laroose" on the anniversary of his death. Cue movie seven, except with Kuro forced into the plot.
Connections To Canon Characters: Drew's neighbor. Harley killed her brother. Kuro will either end up with Gary, Drew, Ash, or Brock.
Special Abilities: She won her first four Contests all in a row.
Notes: I've never been able to sit through Destiny Deoxys, though I've tried watching it several times. Likewise, I couldn't get through the last few chapters of this fanfic. Sorry? I skimmed them, is that enough?
Also, there are at least three songs inserted into this fanfiction. Fourth wall go boom.
Samples:
( Lamest death ever. )
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[Jan. 16th, 2007|10:02 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | basic | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | bored | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Niji - Okiayu Ryoutarou | ] |
Hmm. We haven't had an Eevee in a while, have we?
Not that today's fic features an Eevee, but I was just making an observation...
Title: Blind Sighted
Culprit Author's Name: Draconess [The Suethor responsible for the Pokegod with six Mews.]
Canon: Unknown
Name: Tara Moxly
Species(es): Human?
Hair Color: Not mentioned
Eye Color: Not mentioned
Markings: None mentioned
Possessions: PokeDex, Pokeballs... same old.
Pokemon Team: A blind Pikachu ("Sparkle"), Jigglypuff ("Jewel"), Vulpix ("Ember"). They can all speak English for some reason that was kind of glossed over.
Origin: Someplace called Sacama Village. Tara showed up late (or not at all?) for getting her starter Pokemon, so she had to wait a year, which was all well and good because she was too good for the normal starters ANYWAY. So a year later her local Professor for some reason trusts her with a blind Pikachu which can talk. Annnnd yeah.
Connections To Canon Characters: None.
Special Abilities: She can make her Pokemon talk, but it's implied that anyone can do that "if you take the time to understand them." That's about it, except that her Pikachu and Jigglypuff just LEARN Iron Tail and Thunderbolt (respectively) on their own. I guess that's not that bad, though.
Notes: For some reason I kept dismissing this fic whenever I saw it, telling myself (after reading the summary), "Whatever, having a blind Pokemon doesn't automatically make it a Sue."
Why didn't I even look into it? I don't know. Because, while not among the worst I've seen, and relatively boring, this still reeks of Sueishness.
Well. It seems I have nothing to say about this fic beyond my unnecessary explanation of why I never reported it before. Sorry if I wasted a minute of your time with these three paragraphs.
Samples:
( Tara recieves her SPESHUL Pikachu! )
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